tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69788572024-03-07T01:54:42.340-08:00Walk With Me...sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.comBlogger97125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-84232105278282404482013-03-02T06:01:00.000-08:002013-03-02T06:01:45.686-08:00Light...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I just realized how long it has been since I've written here....SHOCKING! WOW!<br />
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It has been a long and arduous road but I can say....finally, there is light.<br />
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Thursday, February 28 was the 3 year anniversary of Aaron's last day of work. For two years, he worked tirelessly trying to find himself a new position in the semiconductor industry. He was ultimately unsuccessful. He had barriers, not the least of which was being over 55. As the months dragged on it became apparent that he had also fallen into the abyss of being "long term unemployed". <br />
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As we passed the second anniversary, we started to look seriously into buying a business. Our primary parameters were not the industry but what we could afford and what looked to return what we need to maintain a standard of living close to what we have always enjoyed. That eliminated a lot of options and through 2012, we looked at a few business we never dreamed we would find ourselves involved with. They ran the gamut from flood and fire remediation to a modeling and acting school. We made bids on a couple of opportunities that we did not win (one was mosquito extermination...chemicals....my worst nightmare). On the day after Thanksgiving, we received a call that a deal we had bid on and lost had fallen through. We were offered the opportunity to revisit....and we did.<br />
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January 29th, we closed on the purchase of a new franchise with S.W.A.T (Soil, Water and Air Technologies) Environmental in Pennsylvania. The company does residential and business property radon remediation. The business is established and was being run from Lansing Michigan. The founders had beeen establishing locations throughout the country in areas where radon is of concern, and had decided to spin these locations off as franchise opportunities. If you're not familiar, Radon is a radioactive gas that is generated through the breakdown of bedrock. This gas enters the home through the foundation and is recognized by the EPA as a class 1 carcinogen. It is the second leading cause of lung cancer behind smoking. It is mitigated by the installation of a vacuum/venting system in the affected building. Our business sells, installs, and services these systems.<br />
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So we are a month into the new venture. We are still on Long Island for the time being and Aaron's commuting to PA. Joel is on track to graduate this June so we couldn't consider relocating before then. But, ultimately, we will relocate back to PA. We'll locate our statewide office in Allentown and will eventually be going HOME!<br />
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I'm not planning to taking a long term role in this business however at the moment, I'm doing what I can to help Aaron as we learn the ropes. He understands and supports that I want with all my heart to finally make photography my profession. I am dabbling....mostly working on creating a portfolio so I can market a business doing lifestyle photography featuring pets, children and families. Pets are my primary interest but I may have to work a little more broadly as I get myself launched. The timing could be better as there is a move in the future. So I'm thinking of this time for myself as portfolio building and just learning what works and what doesn't. I'm not doing any work for money at the moment but the portfolio is coming together, as is a new website. I spend a lot of time working with and learning advanced editing techniques. My mind is continually blown by what one can do with photoshop and some curiosity and creativity.<br />
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So, we have rounded a bend and I like what I see in the distance. Unbelievably, Aaron and I have come through this intact. We have stood the tests of some agonizing challenges. There's been more than enough stress and tension and depression in our home over the last few years to last a lifetime. I've experienced a full blown panic attack that landed me in the hospital overnight on a heart monitor. There have been tears, times of extreme anger and frustration and overwhelming self doubt. We have more challenges to face...selling this house in NY is going to be a big one. The market here is still dismal and we're still upside down. But now, there is hope, a glimmer of light and FINALLY, a sense of direction.</div>
sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-12473629059855421362011-12-05T03:51:00.001-08:002011-12-05T04:37:01.506-08:0012/5/11<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Time for a little update as our job saga continues...<br />
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A <a href="http://sunflowerkat.blogspot.com/2011/09/9511.html">few entries back</a>, I wrote about a temporary break in the job crisis. Aaron had found a short term consulting gig at a decent rate of pay which would tide us over through the end of the year. It was a DISASTER! The company owner (L) was an absolute lunatic...a madman. Aaron was not there a week when the marketing director came to him and told him that he was leaving on Friday with no notice. He could no longer take the bosses tirades. Here are the bullet points of the nightmare...<br />
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- Small company is owned and run by L<br />
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- L's live in girlfriend is second in command. She has no particular background that makes her a great person for this position.<br />
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-L and girlfriend have frequent screaming fights in the office<br />
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-L's parents spent lots of time in L's office, just hanging out. L is a man in his 50's. L fights with his parents the way he fights with the girlfriend.<br />
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-L "knows it all". A meeting with L to share input, observations or advice turned into a session where L told you all the reasons you didn't know what you were talking about.<br />
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-L changed your job description on a daily basis so you could not focus on making progress<br />
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-L was frequently out of the office. L had a stroke 2 weeks before he contracted Aaron. This was one reason that Aaron was brought in. L is so crazy he's killing himself.<br />
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-L had a history of getting frustrated that people were not doing what he expected (even though he could not define what was expected...it changed day to day) and firing them. <br />
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Needless to say, Aaron was miserable. He was trying to give L what he wanted and L would rip him a new one. One day he came home and told me that he and L had had a red faced screaming fight. Several times Aaron came home at the end of the day desperate to terminate the contract. He hoped to be fired. He'd tell me "it wasn't working out for either of them". My response was....this wasn't about "working out" as far as we were concerned. This was not a career move. This was a paycheck....period.<br />
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He stuck it out....until L decided Aaron wasn't working out. L called him in to terminate the contract and Aaron graciously acknowledged and agreed it was the right move. Apparently L was STUNNED that Aaron took it all so well. All in all, the job lasted about 8 weeks out of the expected 16.<br />
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So, we are back to being jobless. He has one opportunity which is a good one. He's a very strong candidate but not "the perfect guy". They have been looking for Perfect Guy since January. It's an executive position that they've had filled with an interim person and they're in trouble with that because he doesn't have the management skills to run the department. Aaron has those management skills but he's not an expert in the technology. They seem to be focused on getting someone with the very specific technical background and strong management experience, and they can't find that person. It's time for them to hire my husband! :) I am sending my daily messages to the job gods.<br />
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The job is in California but we are not even talking about the logistical problems involved (House we can't sell, child with a year and a half of high school to go). We're just hanging onto every hope that he gets this job, then we'll worry about all the details. It will probably mean a long term bicoastal situation. Doesn't matter, he needs a job.<br />
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By the way, Aaron had a communication recently from someone who is still at L's company. He was making sales contacts and forwarded to Aaron an email conversation between himself and a potential client. Upon making the pitch, the clients asked if L was still the CEO. His response to learning that L was still there was "I will not do business with that schizophrenic asshole!" Kind of sums it all up right there.... <br />
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I also mentioned a photography job that I was pursuing. This has turned into a big run around as it is a county civil service position. About 1000 people have to handle my paperwork and things continue to go missing along the way. I have spoken on the phone a number of times to the woman who would ultimately be my superior and she seems very interested in hiring me. There's just always another hoop to jump through or something that they can't find or don't have. My 30 year old college transcripts? For a part time photographers positions? When I supplied a copy of my diploma? REALLY? OK.......<br />
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I'm still hopeful that this will work out but it may be months. <br />
<br /></div>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-82347633836106541612011-09-29T19:26:00.000-07:002011-09-29T19:26:51.492-07:00L'Shana Tova<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It is Rosh Hashanna...the Jewish New Year.<br />
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It seems that so many of my friends have been facing big challenges. Loss of loved ones, cancer, job loss, money issues, the need to sell a home...everywhere I turn I see people I love are struggling.<br />
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As am I...<br />
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So my hope for all is L'Shana Tova....may the new year be a sweet year, for each and every one of us. My wish for health and happiness, security and peace goes to you all, today....this year....and always.</div>
sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-23257361592021595222011-09-25T13:57:00.000-07:002011-09-25T14:03:55.146-07:00Late Summer Garden<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="font-size: large;">I posted this image to <a href="http://inmydreamssfk.blogspot.com/">my photo blog</a> earlier in the week. Today, I'm posting it here as an entry to the September Gardening Gone Wild <a href="http://www.gardeninggonewild.com/?p=18408#more-18408">Picture This</a> photo contest.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This photo was taken just this past week. These tiny daisies are all that remain in the meadow...Mother Nature's truly wild garden.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunflowerkat/6182292457/" title="meadow4_lg by sunflowerkat119, on Flickr"><img alt="meadow4_lg" height="555" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6155/6182292457_2546e2103b_b.jpg" width="800" /></a></span><br />
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</div>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-42329011583019010662011-09-07T07:40:00.000-07:002011-09-07T07:40:07.782-07:00Quick Pic<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">One of my favorite photos from the recent concert tour. Two years ago, Bruce started featuring the dulcimer in both new songs and old favorites. This year, he brought his drummer Sonny to the forefront on the washboard in Shadowhands....a song about talking to imaginary friends.<br />
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It's this obvious joy for what they do that keeps me coming back for more.<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunflowerkat/6123523649/" title="BH_SE1 by sunflowerkat119, on Flickr"><img alt="BH_SE1" height="516" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6199/6123523649_9c0ea71f63_b.jpg" width="705" /></a><br />
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</div>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-3603740310319300422011-09-05T15:20:00.000-07:002011-09-05T15:20:50.964-07:009/5/11<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">A little potpourri type entry with mostly GOOD news!<br />
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Aaron has found a job! At the moment, it is a contracted consulting job with a very small startup software company. They have a product and they have customers. It's founder is struggling with moving it from the idea/development phase to a functioning and profitable company. He is also dealing with some significant health issues. Aaron has been brought in to help him move the business forward. He'll be doing some long range business planning for them, perhaps some hiring and some work with the clients. Toward the end of the year they will assess their relationship and determine if he will move into a permanent executive position there. It's a good plan because this is a business with some real strengths as well as some serious weaknesses. He'll have a better understanding of it's viability before he makes a permanent commitment to them.<br />
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So, we're relieved....for now.<br />
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As a startup, it's a salary cut for him. So I will probably start looking for some type of work in the next few weeks. I would LOVE to figure out a way to make photography my profession without going the route of weddings and bar mitzvahs. I really don't want to have the pressure of recording "once in a lifetime" memories. We had a mediocre photographer at our wedding...I know the disappointment. I've also had the experience of selling what can't be seen until it's done. That was the most stressful part of the years with my window treatment business. So, I'm thinking about some other possibilities...some more realistic than others. In the meantime, I've got to figure out what to put on a resume to sum up my piecemeal job history. I'm not really sure how to start or what can be highlighted that will make make me attractive to an employer. So, I've got a project ahead of me. <br />
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Hurricane Irene came through here and did her best to wreak havoc. We woke up without power on Sunday morning and were in the dark until Friday afternoon. My daughter Arielle was supposed to fly in to New York from Israel on Sunday afternoon. Clearly, that didn't happen as we were experiencing tropical storm force winds. She was there as part of the BirthRight program which sponsors travel to Israel for young jewish adults. Consequently, THEY picked up the tab for her extended stay in Tel Aviv. Lucky girl! The first day of school for Joel was also delayed as a result of the storm. He was scheduled to begin on Thursday but the island was still in disarray with no power in a lot of locations. They sited student transportation as one concern as we still had street lights out everywhere. Tomorrow is now "the big day"<br />
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I had plans to be away a good part of the week to see a few Bruce Hornsby concerts. Anyone who's read my blog for an extended time knows that I'm a devoted fan and see as many shows as I can when he's in my neck of the woods. Once again he generously granted me media credentials so that I was able to photograph the shows. The first was a great opportunity as it was the last performance on the tour where he was double billed with Bela Fleck and his band. Talk about an amazing night of music!! So while we were powerless I had the excuse to dart off to Connecticut, and Philly, and Manhattan, and New Hampshire. I heard a lot of amazing music and got to see many friends. The dates did allow me to stop through here between most of the shows and touch base as needed. My tour has ended for now but I hope to catch a couple more shows at the end of the month.<br />
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While in Manhattan, I had an experience I had not expected. I was walking toward the venue with a couple of friends and I looked up to see a poster for the show featuring a photograph that I took! It's was a little mind boggling and a real thrill. Yes...I snatched it off the wall after the show. How could I not? It may be my 15 minutes of fame so I needed to grab the proof.<br />
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Perhaps I'm in a state of post show euphoria but I'm feeling pretty good at the moment. So much worry has been relieved for now with Aaron working. We've taken the house off the market until we see how the job plays out....so that concern is gone. It will be a big adjustment for us all for me to begin working more than just teaching a couple of classes a week. But worrying about that is putting the cart before the horse. I have to find something first. I've got my thinking cap pulled down tight on my head. I would love to be my own boss and be in control of my schedule. But then, who wouldn't?<br />
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I'm swamped with concert pics, so keep an eye out! Something will probably pop up here or on the photoblog soon!</div>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-75590766135928249372011-08-17T09:03:00.000-07:002011-08-17T09:03:56.039-07:00I LOVE Morning....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunflowerkat/6053331484/" title="AvMeadowMist by sunflowerkat119, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6078/6053331484_c50290cf5d_b.jpg" width="800" height="556" alt="AvMeadowMist"></a><br />
</div>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-58430507379244397102011-08-11T10:46:00.000-07:002011-08-11T10:46:25.740-07:00The Bright Spot<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I have done a disproportionate amount of complaining about Long Island here on this blog. But today, I need to honor the one thing I honestly love about living here....and that is being near a shore bird habitat.<br />
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The first summer we were here, we bought two kayaks. I have not had near the opportunity to use mine that I would have hoped. It's too heavy for me to manage on and off the top of my van alone. And, while Aaron goes out often....he prefers to go out mid day when the intensity of the sun is at its worst. Being a blue eyed blonde, I have no business out in the burning rays. Even covered in liquid shirt (never sunscreen rated below SPF55), I still break out in hives. So, my kayak excursions have been limited.<br />
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But this week, I was able to arrange to store my kayak at a boatyard at the harbor just a mile from my house. It's easy to drag the boat from the rack to the shore so now, I am finally free to enjoy the water and the birds at the time of day that is best for me.<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunflowerkat/6032534112/" title="harbormap by sunflowerkat119, on Flickr"><img alt="harbormap" height="633" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6136/6032534112_002f62e400_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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Our harbor is beautiful and filled with a huge variety of birds. This little map shows my launch point (x marks the spot), and the island in the harbor that is habitat for herons, egrets, terns, skimmers, oystercatchers, all kind of sandpipers, plovers and more! A little planning with the tides and it's an easy paddle around the island where I can get close to shore to photograph all my feathered friends. And there is something so peaceful in paddling through the wetlands, surrounded by thickets of grass. It feels like a big adventure right in my backyard.<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunflowerkat/6032254604/" title="sbharbon2 by sunflowerkat119, on Flickr"><img alt="sbharbon2" height="592" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6076/6032254604_7f29740472_b.jpg" width="750" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunflowerkat/6032254506/" title="sbharbor1 by sunflowerkat119, on Flickr"><img alt="sbharbor1" height="503" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6146/6032254506_905f2e09bd_b.jpg" width="750" /></a><br />
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I'm posting photos of the birds from our harbor on my <a href="http://inmydreamssfk.blogspot.com/">photoblog</a>. For an ongoing birders tour of my little corner of the world, please visit me there!</div>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-18000680490168883962011-08-09T04:28:00.001-07:002011-08-09T04:28:59.369-07:00Many Thanks...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I really deeply appreciate the comments I received on the last post. Not only am I touched by your kind words and encouragement...I also appreciate knowing you are each still with me. I wrote with a little trepidation...what if NO ONE read? I should have known better as our friendships ARE real. All your comments are so encouraging and inspire me not only to try and stay strong, but also to continue to share these challenging experiences with you...friends who care.<br />
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I know some of you have been through your own very rough times over the years. I feel privileged that I have gotten to know you through times good and bad. What I am experiencing now is the true joy of blogging. Thank you!<br />
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Rose - I've been mentally shouting "ENOUGH!" for about a year now. One thing I've learned is that we don't get to choose when we've had enough. But we can hope for is a reprieve. I'm not a pessimist, but I have sure learned to be a realist. Thanks so much for your thoughts, encouragement and prayers.<br />
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Lisa - You are absolutely right, our blog friends are a very special breed of friend. You are one of the wonderful people I've known through this medium for EIGHT(?) years now. It gives me so much peace to know that you and the others WILL be there when I break down and decide to dump the mess of my life here. I think you know I'll be there for you too. Thank you my friend.<br />
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Paul - When I saw that you had visited, tears came to my eyes. I thought I had lost touch with you. I find joy in knowing that our connection is still intact after all this time. I've missed you and hope to hear from you again.<br />
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Phinney - I wish we lived closer too sweetie but at least we live close enough that we've really spent time together. I know you're always there when I need you. And, don't sell yourself short in the strength department...you have been through as much as anyone I know. You have had some incredible struggles all the while showing nothing but strength to your friends, family and your son.<br />
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Don't stop talking about what's going on. If you're not up to blogging. Call me....<br />
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Cynthia - I know you understand exactly where I was coming from when I wrote this entry. If even an occasional entry can help us through our most troubled times, then we need to stick with it. You have had a very, very tough few years and when you write, your introspection always makes me think and it inspires me to be stronger. Thanks for having the courage to share the way that you do. And thanks for being here for me.<br />
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Monica - I feel that hug! :) Sending one right back at you! I know you are like me in that when times are tough, you get quiet and stay in touch with your beautiful photos. It's safer to speak through photos than through words sometimes. But I also know, you have followers that really do care about what's going on in your life and they'll be there when you're ready to share. If you're not ready to blog, please send me an email and let me know what's up with you.<br />
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I BELIEVE one day we will have the chance to do that photo outing together. I know we'll have an amazing time. I'm counting on it!<br />
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Susan - Thanks so much for reading and commenting here AND for all the hugs! We're just starting to get to know each other via blogging and it makes me smile to feel the connection strengthening. I feel like your spirit is as big as Oz Land. Thanks for sharing some of that beautiful spirit and your hugs and encouragement here. <br />
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You all are amazing and today my heart feels so full. I'm sending lots of love out to you all.<br />
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</div>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-80228947787561376392011-08-03T07:33:00.000-07:002011-08-03T07:33:40.986-07:008/2/11<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Yesterday was the anniversary of the last day of my "normal" life. The last day I felt fully like myself. Six years ago today, the first (and worst) of a series of events began that have pulled me further and further from feeling my place in the world. Six years is a long time to drift and I still have no real vision of what will bring me back to a sense of stability. Who knew that at the age of 54, so much of my life would feel so far out of my control.<br />
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Today is the sixth anniversary of the terrible accident that killed my sister and my nephew. It's a loss I've learned to live with but some days my psyche and my heart finds it almost impossible to accept. <br />
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Since that day, I have been repeatedly thrust into life changing situations that have challenged my belief that a life I envision for myself is within my grasp.<br />
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Six years and one day ago, I was living in a bubble of contentment. I loved my home and my community, I had wonderful friends around me, my family was intact and we were emotionally and financially secure. That day now seems like ancient history. It all started with a devastating phone call. I relive that moment frequently in my head and still can hardly believe the news it brought. It broke my heart and robbed me the ability to believe that my loved ones are protected and safe. And now, so much more has happened I feel little confidence going forward.<br />
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My husband lost his job...not once, but twice. The first we knew was coming and we would have weathered it better if it was not in the immediate shadow of Meg's death. I was grieving while things were uncertain and I was not up to the task of providing Aaron with the support he needed. He looked for work for a year and when he found a job, it required a relocation. I was about to be faced with my next big loss....either my husband, or my home.<br />
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I chose to keep my marriage intact but the price for that choice has been monumental. I loved my home, I loved where it sat, I loved (and still love) my neighbor there. I loved my friends. I loved my place in the community. I loved the surrounding area. I loved that everything around me was filled with memories of my precious children growing up and happy times with my dear friends. In my heart...I was home.<br />
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But I left it. I can't let myself believe that it was the wrong thing to do even though my gut told me otherwise. It would have been worse to divide my family. I've regretted that I wasn't more forceful about my instincts. It's like another death to me. Just like I can't get my sister back, I can't get that life back. My homesickness is like a rotten spot on my soul. It's a festering wound that just won't heal.<br />
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The first two years in our new place were rough. I was heartsick to be here and felt tremendously displaced. Were it not for the few friends who supported me over the miles, I don't know how I would have made it. It was very difficult to meet and connect with anyone here. I felt "out of sight, out of mind" with many people I'd left behind and that was painful. Some days I'd look around and think "where am I? WHO am I?" Of course, it put tremendous strain on my marriage.<br />
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By the third year, I'd made one friend and was finally getting my head around "this is where I live." While I was still very fragile with homesickness, I was getting a bit stronger and a more peaceful in my day to day existence. Then, Aaron came home to tell me that he'd lost his job.<br />
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Aaron was working as an executive at a semiconductor company. It was a high paying position with a lot of responsibility. He was laid off because the company had hired a new CEO and (as is not uncommon) she cleared the executive decks to bring in her own team. From the moment she was hired he had an inkling this could happen, yet when it did we felt blindsided.<br />
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That was almost 18 months ago. He has been looking diligently for work all along but things far out of our control an obstacle. We are a statistic heard on the news every night. We are the "over age 50 long term unemployed". Aaron has exceptional skills and experience. One prominent CEO in silicon valley invited him out to meet on a consult and told him that his resume "glowed in the dark". But there are no jobs....there are no empty chairs. And he can't get considered for a lower level position because his experience is a "threat". No one wants to hire someone who could do THEIR job.<br />
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Our expenses here are staggering. Everything was within our budget when Aaron was working. This was not a case of borrowing more than we could afford. Thankfully we have money in the bank....we were conscientious about saving all our married life. But now we are watching that nest egg hemorrhage. We have put the house on the market but real estate is in such bad shape here that it is listed for what we owe. All our equity is gone. We can't get anyone to even look at the place. With the economic uncertainty there's no surprise there. Once again, we are a news statistic....upside down on our house and no buyers in sight.<br />
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I watch what's happening in our economy and with our pathetic collection of "lawmakers" and consider our status as a statistic and wonder if there is anything we will be able to do to get through this mess and land on our feet. It's frustrating because for almost 30 years we really tried to be forward thinking financially....to plan for our future and the future of our kids. We left the home I loved to come here because this was the clearest path to ensuring financial security. Look where it got us. Without a job or a buyer the outlook is pretty dismal and some days we are more discouraged than others. The last six years has been a long haul of heartbreak and disappointment. I'm tired....I'm tired of feeling this way. Hopelessness is draining. I keep looking for that one thing to grab onto.....like a solid stick in a flooded river. I need to grab onto something to keep from swept away, pulled under, and drowned. But, nothing feels like the solid anchor I hope to find.<br />
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I'm hesitating to push the publish button on this as the latest in a long series of woeful posts. But today's anniversary is significant. It was the first and most overwhelming loss in a series of losses that I'm struggling to recover from. It's hard for me to wrestle with any one without all of them falling on top of me.<br />
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I've been wanting to return to blogging for awhile and all this emotional clutter gets in the way. I'm hoping that if I dump it here one more time that maybe I can resume a pattern of blogging about TODAY without dragging in all the baggage of the last six years. I'm going to try. I hope a few of you out there are still with me....</div>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-76857231638994079572011-06-17T14:12:00.000-07:002011-06-17T14:14:27.141-07:00iPhonography<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">This entry is cross posted to <a href="http://inmydreamssfk.blogspot.com/2011/06/iphonography.html">In My Dreams I Can Fly...</a><br />
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<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I have a confession to make...I drank the iPhoneography kool-aid.<br />
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I really like my iPhone. I don't know anyone who has one who doesn't. The people at Apple are geniuses. It's not a phone...it's a fabulous toy for grownups. It just so happens you can make a call with it.<br />
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I rarely took photos with my old phone. I didn't start taking photos with this phone right away. But then, I discovered the creative apps....I discovered iPhoneography...and I quickly learned that it's an art form that is being widely accepted by BIG names in traditional photography. Photographers from National Geographic, Outdoor Photography and other major publications are ladling out the kool-aid to the rest of us.<br />
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It's being embraced for what it is. What it is NOT...is a replacement for high quality dslr photography. It's really a new creative medium that you carry in your pocket. For people truly passionate about photography, it's not a way to turn a bad photo into a gimicky "good" photo. At present, we're limited in the amount of control available in making the image. You can't set your shutter speed or control your depth of field. So it becomes very much about composition and applying a new medium to a well composed picture. <br />
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It's fun and it appears that the creative possibilities are almost limitless. Google it...you'll be amazed.</div><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunflowerkat/5831850253/" title="FX PhotoStudio Image by sunflowerkat119, on Flickr"><img alt="FX PhotoStudio Image" height="640" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3394/5831850253_5121fde2da_z.jpg" width="478" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunflowerkat/5842850299/" title="Photo effect by Pic Grunger. by sunflowerkat119, on Flickr"><img alt="Photo effect by Pic Grunger." height="478" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3133/5842850299_cbde28b5c2_z.jpg" width="640" /></a></div></div>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-65612319230642912102011-06-05T08:13:00.000-07:002011-06-05T08:13:13.951-07:00June 5<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Just checking in at the <a href="http://meandering-martha.blogspot.com/2011/06/party-time.html">beach party</a> for a little small talk.<br />
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Right now, I'm far from New York...sitting in my brother in law's living room in Barrington, IL near Chicago. We're here to celebrate my mother-in-law's 80th birthday.<br />
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Aaron and the girls drove out ahead of Joel and me...airfare for five was just too steep. But Joel isn't finished with school yet and we had to make a quicker turn around on the trip. I love traveling by car and would have enjoyed a bit of a road trip. But at least we got lucky and our flights were on time (early actually) and NOT packed like sardines. We'll see how it goes on the return trip.<br />
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Our realtor is holding an open house at our place while we are away. We just dropped the price on the house by a painful amount and it will be interesting (perhaps excruciating) to see if we can now draw in any potential buyers. I spent the last two days before we left town cleaning like a mad woman. I'm sure that anyone who has ever sold a house can relate to what an enormous pain in the ass this process is. For the moment, I'm glad to be far away from that reality.<br />
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We have a small family and live far from everyone. We haven't seen Aaron's parents since this time last year. In light of all the uncertainty we are living with, it's a comfort to be here and feel like part of a larger whole. It's good to talk and laugh, recall times past and just be with people who are "mine". When your family is spread out, you forget what a comfort it is to be among them. I was actually dreading this trip a bit because these days I feel so fragile. The problems aren't gone, but surrounded by these people, I feel bit more buffered from everything we've been dealing with.<br />
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The party is this afternoon, and there is so much to celebrate. My inlaws (and my mom) have made it to their 80's and they're all healthy and independent. I feel almost childlike in wanting to be in the presence of the security of the previous generation. I am aware of how lucky we are to still have them with us and I want to take this day and hold onto it with all my might. It could all change in one unsuspected instant. Boy, hasn't that lesson been rubbed in my face again, and again. As I sit here writing, I clearly see my mission of this day...to let each of these dear people know how much they are loved, and how much their love means to me. <br />
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Have a great week everyone...<br />
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</div>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-63018169842018528052011-05-30T10:19:00.000-07:002011-05-30T13:27:30.829-07:00Away One Year<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Wow...<br />
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It has been, and continues to be an overwhelming year. I'll save that for another time.<br />
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Martha at <a href="http://meandering-martha.blogspot.com/">Menagerie</a> has started something new to attempt to draw bloggers into new sense of community. She's describing it as a virtual cocktail party. The idea is to write a blog post at least once a weekend and then link through her blog to the community. She's suggested a little blurb about what's gone on that week, or a recipe, a photo....just about anything. Click <a href="http://meandering-martha.blogspot.com/2011/05/what-happens-at-beach-stays-at-beach.html">here</a> for more details and to join in.<br />
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I have missed that feeling since the demise of AOL journals. It was SO different back then. I've missed the connection that we used to have. So, I want to support Martha in this effort and hopefully regain some of the community spirit we used to enjoy.<br />
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I've been away for the last year for a couple of reasons, but the most significant is the tough times my family has been facing. We're still in the midst of it and there's a lot of uncertainty. I hope that maybe I can use these posts to put some focus on what's positive.<br />
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With that...<br />
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I want to share a big music event that's going on today....right now! <a href="http://Bruuuce.com/">Bruuuce.com</a> (a fan site for Bruce Hornsby) is running a fund raising event for 25 hours in support of two great causes, the <a href="http://www.alsa.org/">ALS Association</a> and the <a href="http://www.nspcc.org.uk/">National Society of the Prevention of Cruelty to Children</a> (in the UK). For 25 hours, at <a href="http://www.dailydoseday.com/">www.dailydoseday.com</a>, live recordings are being posted for free download. Each hour five additional downloads are added...one from each from five great artisits (<a href="http://www.dailydoseday.com/?page_id=284">Bruce Hornsby</a>, <a href="http://www.dailydoseday.com/?page_id=567">Bela Fleck</a>, T<a href="http://www.dailydoseday.com/?page_id=286">he Grateful Dead</a>, <a href="http://www.dailydoseday.com/?page_id=290">Phish</a>, and <a href="http://www.dailydoseday.com/?page_id=288">Dave Matthews</a>). The downloads are completely free but the hope is that listeners will choose to help to support these causes by making a donation via the links provided on the site.<br />
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I invite you visit the site, download and enjoy the music and consider supporting these worthy organizations. If you like these bands, this is a chance to grab music that is not in wide release. And if you're a fan of one, chances are you will like it all. It's a rare opportunity!<br />
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Happy Memorial Day everyone<br />
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***Quick edit...I just made the rounds of the links posted so far. Everyone's offering up some pretty amazing recipes. All we need is the music! Who's ready to dance?</div>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-51215450846281132232010-05-29T08:21:00.000-07:002010-05-29T08:43:33.814-07:00A Difficult Farewell<span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">After</span></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"></span></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"> three agonizing days, my ten year old golden retriever, Berkeley passed away.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">I was away visiting my sister last weekend, and Arielle called to tell me he was acting strange. I arrived home on a late flight the next day and took him to the vet the following morning. An xray revealed coins in his intestines, and they did surgery that day to remove them.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">But, they also discovered an abnormality with his spleen and removed that as well.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Post op, they were concerned about heart arythmias and about low red blood cell count. He was transferred to an animal ICU where he could get transfusions.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">This is a long drawn out story of 48 hours of phone updates, worry and stress. Here, I'll share a short version. <br /><br />Yesterday, it was suggested that they xray his lungs to see if he had any evidence of cancer. If so, we could assume that the spleen biopsy would come back to confirm it. He did have nodules in his lungs and his heart was slightly enlarged.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">I visited him there yesterday morning. He walked into the visiting room on his own. We sat on the floor and he pressed his head into my chest like he always does to get his ears and neck scratched. But he wore out clickly and slid to the floor. I laid with him for awhile, then asked them to move him back where he could be reattached to his monitor and IVs.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Arielle and I went back to see him last night. He seemed like maybe he had turned a corner. He was upright and interacted with us, even though it was somewhat lethargic. He had not been willing to eat but I was able to coax him into taking a little cheese. Our plan was to not think about the cancer right now, but to try and get him recovered from the surgery and hopefully have a little quality time with him at home. I could tell the doctors were not optimistic, but I was feeling hopeful because he was doing so much better than he was in the morning.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">I got a call in the middle of the night to tell me he was crashing. I was in a stupor. They asked me if I wanted to come down but I knew I couldn't safely drive myself there. Aaron was out of town so I would have to drive myself. They suggested another xray to see if he was bleeding out, but they were also leaving the door wide open for me to let them put him down. I couldn't give up, I ok'd the xray.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">But he was under too much stress and he was experiencing arythmias....they called me 30 minutes later and said he was in cardiac arrest. They attempted about 5 minutes of cpr while I was on the phone, and then I told them to stop. Berkeley is gone.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">I have a very heavy heart today. He has been my constant companion...my shadow for his entire life. He was my walking buddy, my fuzzball, and one of my babies. It all happened so fast and now, our whole family is in shock.</span></span>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-45121842787277356982010-02-23T11:43:00.000-08:002010-02-23T11:57:23.513-08:00February 23, 2010<span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >Two and one half years ago we packed up our family and moved to New York. This week, Aaron was laid off.<br /><br />Yesterday was his last day in and he spent the day being professional and putting a positive spin on this reorganization of the company. Today, for most of the day, we've been doing a post mortem on the entire experience. Not that it changes anything, but for some reason he needs to look for signs that were missed or things he should have done differently. Tonight he has a "farewell" dinner to attend, and he's reheresing his speech. I am beyond blown away at how he's facing this.<br /><br />As an executive, he'll have severance compensation so finances won't be a worry right away. Clearly, everything we spend money on will be more tightly scrutinized. I feel like I was blindfolded, stuffed in a sack, then dumped by the side of a lonely road in the middle of nowhere. I wonder how long it will take for us to find our way back to feeling settled. That's all I want. I've just about given up on ever feeling like I'm home.</span>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-88324663062146705212010-02-18T07:49:00.000-08:002010-02-18T08:12:15.278-08:00Westminster Dog Show 2010<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">***I am moving my online portfolio to <a href="http://katherinefisher.zenfolio.com/">Zenfolio.com</a>. It appears to have tons of great features that makes sharing your images on blogger and facebook super easy. This post is my first attempt at embedding a slideshow into an entry. Let me know if it's working for you.***</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Joel is off school this week for winter break. We've been busy the first few days, but now we're just going to chill out the rest of the week, I think. </span><br /><br /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" quality="high" width="640" height="480" align="" src="http://www.zenfolio.com/zf/code/slideshow.swf" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" allowFullScreen="true" flashvars="id=223613431&background=0xf5f5f5&delay=4&transition=2&loop=1&allowfs=1&allowthumbs=1&showlink=1&allowtitles=0&showtitles=0&autostart=1&allowtopbar=1&allowcontrols=1&transparent=0&frame=0xcccccc"></embed><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Monday, we went into Manhattan to meet up with a friend from Allentown and go to the Westminster Dog Show. I watch the show on tv every year, and have always thought it would be great to attend.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">We went for the early part of the day, during the "best of breed" judging. The floor of Madison Square Garden is divided into six judging rings so there are multiple competitions going on at any point in time. I did my best to take photos from the stands, mere mortals do not have the ability to get down on the floor and be on eye level with the dogs during the judging. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">However, we could go into the backstage or "benching" area where the dogs and owners spend their time before and after the judging. It was a mob scene back there, but you could watch as the dogs were being primped, talk to the breeders/owners, and pet and coo at the dogs. Many of the animals were happily tucked into their crates. With all the people and hubbub, it clearly has the potential to be a high stress environment for some of the animals. We could tell that many of these dogs were more than happy to be in their "safe place". But, just as many were delighted with all the attention they were getting from all the attendants. I'm sure there wasn't a soul back there who didn't LOVE dogs.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">We didn't stay for the evening group judging but we were back on Long Island in time to watch it on tv. It was really cool to recognize some of the dogs who went on to that next level, however none of my favorites won their group to move on to best in show. Next year, I think I'll plan a little differently and hopefully spend even more time there. For a real dog person it's an experience not to miss.</span></span>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-85430286064630361132010-01-30T06:00:00.000-08:002010-01-30T07:12:57.919-08:00Jan 30, 2010<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">It was a pretty uneventful week. It seems lately that, though I have quite a list of things I want to do, I feel stalled out. Here at the house, I wander from one project to another, putting things down and moving on before I really even get started. It's frustrating.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Getting out of the house is the best medicine. It doesn't help at all with getting me drawn into my projects, but it does get me doing something. I'm enjoying being out on these brisk winter days.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">On Friday, my friend and I went to explore the </span><a style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" href="http://www.quoguewildliferefuge.com/">Quogue Wildlife Refuge</a><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">. It had been recommended by a Long Island birding enthusiasts site as a good place to see a nice variety of winter waterfowl. We weren't particularly blessed in that regard that day but we discovered their beautiful hiking trails.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">It was supposed to be in the mid 40's on Friday, but it started out below freezing. While we were walking the trail, the most beautiful snow began to fall. It was big fluffy flakes that would stick to my checks and lashes. Walking the trail was like walking in a fairy tale. I was positively jubilant. I just LOVE winter.</span></span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunflowerkat/4316143248/" title="quogue2 by sunflowerkat119, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4066/4316143248_e281489dbf_o.jpg" alt="quogue2" height="555" width="765" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunflowerkat/4316143176/" title="quogue1 by sunflowerkat119, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2732/4316143176_1b00796aee_o.jpg" alt="quogue1" height="830" width="592" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The wildlife refuge also has a sanctuary for distressed wildlife and birds of prey that have been rescued but are unable to be returned to the wild. I'll be posting images of some captive bird of prey on my <a href="http://inmydreamssfk.blogspot.com/">photoblog</a>. Come see...</span></span><br /><a href="http://inmydreamssfk.blogspot.com/"></a>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-89946068207967771682010-01-23T04:33:00.000-08:002010-01-23T05:55:22.424-08:00What Makes YOU Happy?<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><a href="http://womenon.blogspot.com/2010/01/happiness-challengeaward.html">This challenge</a> was presented to me as one of the participating contributors to <a href="http://womenon.blogspot.com/">Women On..</a>.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I RARELY do memes. But this one seems to have come along at a time when I feel open to the idea. Maybe it's because I know it would do me good to really think about what makes me happy...to remember that there are some things that make me feel completely alive.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">And so...here are ten. Not necessarily a TOP ten, and in no particular order.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">My Camera - Having my camera in my hands, anticipating the moment to press the button and seeing that I captured what I saw in my mind's eye. It makes me so happy to see that I have created a beautiful image. It makes me delighted when someone else tells me an image I've made speaks to them.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Music - I am initially attracted to the music I love by it's structure. Lyrics are usually secondary. I want the sound to take me somewhere and when it does, I am ecstatic. I love live music, when I can experience the passion of the musician visually as well. At the very tip top of my music happiness list....a Bruce <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Hornsby</span> concert.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Dancing - Goes hand in hand with music. But, dancing with a partner stifles me. I'm a whirl and twirl, dance with reckless abandon girl.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Water - Any body of water delights me, from the ocean to the pool. I love the sounds of water, crashing waves, babbling streams, thundering waterfalls, the quiet lapping at the edge of a lake, the sparkle in the sun, the perfect parallel ripples, and of course, the life it attracts. I love to be IN water. I love to be wet and feel the sun shining on me. I love to swim and splash. I love muffled silence below the surface. And I love to close my eyes and just float.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Hugging My Children - I can't exactly classify being a parent as a "happy" experience. There are many happy times, and plenty of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">frustrations</span>. But, holding one of my children just kind of sums it all up for me. It says how much love we share and how much we want to keep each other close. I hug my children every chance I get.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Dogs - There's nothing like a dog. I love all dogs, and of course mine in particular. Who cares if they are furry and often smelly? They are demonstrative in their affection, they are loyal, accepting, engaging and funny. It especially makes me happy when my dogs welcome me home....or into the room. They love me, they want to be near me, and they make me laugh.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Real Friends - The people who I know I could go to any time and share my highest highs and my lowest lows. The people who get me, and appreciate my quirks. Some of these people have been face to face friends, some I've met and come to know via the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">internet</span>. But, they're all REAL friends and they let me know that. I love them and it makes me SO happy that we share our lives, the hard times as well as the good.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Spending Time With My Sister - She is one of the most precious people in my life. I had three sisters. One, I never knew....she died when she was a baby. For 45 years, I had two sisters and there was nothing like that relationship. I was so happy when I was with them. I loved how we could all burst into laughter spontaneously at an unspoken joke. I love how a bit of the child I was surfaces when I am with my sister. I have one sister left, and unfortunately, I don't see her near enough. That makes the time we do have together even more treasured.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Exploring and Discovering - I'm thinking of walking on the beach, eyeing the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">flotsom</span> and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">jetsom</span> that has washed up. I love finding unusual broken shells, beautiful feathers, bits of driftwood, interesting stones, colorful seaweed, etc. But I do the same in the woods, or along the side of the road. I think I'm drawn to the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">wabi</span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">sabi</span> nature of it. I find dried plants to have a sculptural quality. I love finding new life peeking out through the detritus of the previous year. I marvel at the shape, line and color of natural design. The diversity of life on earth takes my breath away as does the evidence of the passage of time. As much as I try to keep my eyes open and not "miss a thing", I have to wonder how many hidden gems I walk right by.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Having Creative Time - I want to be an artist when I grow up. I don't consider myself one in the traditional sense, but I love to take time and try and create. I love dabbling with all types of mediums, but my favorites are textiles and photographs. It makes me happy to see things that I have created around my house. These creations will allow my children and my grandchildren to have a sense of who I was. Not only do I have the pleasure of making these things, but I have the sense that I will be leaving something behind. An additional layer of happiness comes from receiving affirmation....that someone else appreciates what I have created and it brings them a moment of pleasure or joy.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I need more....which is good news. I thought I'd have a difficult time coming up with ten but I could go on, I'm sorry that I have to leave anything out. This was a much better exercise than I had anticipated...THAT makes me happy. I'll stop after this one last happiness item of note.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Sunrise - It is my spiritual time of day. It stops me in my tracks. It makes me want to sing and dance. It is a promise of possibility. It is a gift of another day.<br /><br />Part of this challenge was to pass it on to ten more people. I won't do that part. Putting anyone in on "the spot" doesn't make me happy. But, if you decide to give it a try, please leave me a link so I can come by.<br /><br /><br /></span></span>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-85568087374704470112010-01-12T16:30:00.000-08:002010-01-12T17:08:06.826-08:00<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">I posted a few recent phots from a little winter walk at the beach at </span><a style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" href="http://inmydreamssfk.blogspot.com/">my photoblog</a><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">. I don't know if anyone's watching it an longer, so I thought I'd make and announcement.</span><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">:)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">We've had quite a hassle with Aaron's car this week. Who needs all these fancy features? It's infuriating.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">I drive a beater of a Chysler minivan. Aaron drives an Acura.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">On New Years Day we hit a crater of a pot hole on the Cross Bronx Expressway while driving back from PA. It was so huge, we blew out a tire. We pulled over to the right onto a little strip of shoulder between the Cross Bronx and another highway merging in from the right. We came up right behind another driver who was out changing his tire which was apparently blown out in the same pot hole.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Aaron changed the tire fairly quickly and we were on our way. Over the next couple of days he did some research and decided on what tires he wanted to purchase to replace the current ones. He called a local place asking about them and they said they'd have to do some checking to get back to us. We didn't hear from them for days and then Aaron had to leave for a business trip.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">So...now I'm on tire aquisition duty. The place Aaron had been working with is staffed with lazy dolts. They never did get back to us and when I did a follow up call, he "checked the computer" and told me that no one had that tire.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">I made a few more calls and finally found someone who had them, but there were a little more than Aaron expected to spend. I was done doing leg work so...this was the place that was going to win our business this time.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">By now the car had sat in the garage without moving for 5 days. I went out to put the damaged tire back in the trunk, and the trunk latch wouldn't work. So, I went to get into the car to open it from the driver's latch and noticed that the car door was ajar. That's special...now the battery is dead. While feeling a bit put out, I knew this was only a minor set back. My van was parked just a few feet away.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">I don't know a lot about cars, but since my first cars were VWs....I learned the basics early. I CAN change a tire and jump a battery. I opened the hood of Aaron's car, and the battery is nowhere to be found. Everything in the engine compartment of that car is covered. I tried to open a couple of the covers but they had no obvious release and they didn't want to come off. I'm scared to force anything like that.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">No problem, I headed to the glove box for the owners manual....which wasn't there. There were several other little booklets, but I no reference where I could look at a little map of the engine and find the battery. I did find a toll free number for road side assistance. Surely they could tell me where the battery is hidden.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">I called and got a very polite representative who was only too willing to help too much. He kept insisting they could send a service truck to my rescue. OK...it's not really necessary....just tell me where the battery is. No, no, no....it's not that type of assistance. They'll be happy to come help this poor damsel. I finally agreed while asking "how long?" He assured me that it wouldn't be too long, the average wait was about an hour.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">This was just plain silly to me. I have cables, the other car is just a couple of feet away. If they'd just tell me WHERE THE BATTERY IS....I can have this done in about 30 seconds. Why would they insist on incurring the cost of sending someone out when they can just give me the information I need and I'm on my way. He insisted his job was to send out assistance and if I wanted this information, I needed to call the dealer.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">By the time talked to a service rep at the dealer, I was so frustrated I was near tears. He told me which cover to open and how to get it opened without breaking it and voila....I clipped on the jumpers, tuned the keys and I was done.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Why do things need to be so ridiculously complicated.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">So, now the car is running and the tire issue is resolved. But Arielle went with me to pick up the car and drive it home. Apparently, since the power was drained, the GPS/audio system will not reboot without a code number. Aaron doesn't remember the code, it's not in the owner's manual (which Aaron had taken from the car and put in the office), and the number suggested by the dealer didn't work.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Where's my VW?</span></span>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-41653722269327652122010-01-08T20:45:00.000-08:002010-01-08T21:27:17.332-08:00Jan 8 2010<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">After two days a naseau and shivering under 40 blankets, I have returned to walk among the living. Unfortunately, tonight Arielle is sick. There's definitely a bug in the house. The good news is that Aaron is in Las Vegas at the Consumer Electronics Show and out of range of infection. Husbands are the biggest babies...</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">For those who asked....YES!! I certainly DID go dance on the stage at Hair. Would YOU pass up the chance to dance on a Broadway stage? It was clearly the only way I was ever going to get there. It was great!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">I have a little story to tell about Joel, but first a little background. If you read my blog WAAAAYY back....you might recall that he </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">a) digs his stubborn heels in about homework and</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">b) he is the world's pickiest eater. He's actually gotten worse in this regard, with his list of acceptable foods dwindling to about 5 choices...most of them white.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">This semester he has been in his third year of Spanish. He's never done very well in Spanish as he made up his mind on day one he HATED Spanish and that it was just "too hard." But, he's coasted along in the C range. It caught up with him this year. He was behind from the start and rather than do the work he needed to do to catch up.....he just fell further and further behind.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">He has asked me repeatedly to allow him to drop out of this class. But, I've refused to consider it on the premise that letting him out of it because he's decided to slack is just the wrong message. What's to keep him from deciding to slack in all the rest of his courses next year? It would be worth a try for him if he knew he had the option to bail. It's a path a want to avoid.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">But, both his guidance counselor and his teacher have come to me with the recommendation that he drop the course. They feel that at this point, the pressure we're all applying to the spanish situation is having a negative impact on his performance in his other classes. So, I have finally decided to bend on this on the condition that he steps into another elective next semester. Dropping Spanish does not buy him a free period.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">His counselor emailed me yesterday and told me that the only available elective that will fit in his schedule is......international foods. The ultimate irony. I wrote her back...."Have you met my son?" But I decided this would be an interesting test. Would he opt for a course where he'd be faced with "exotic" food, or would he suck it up and decide maybe spanish wasn't quite so bad/impossible?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Well, he chose the food.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">He knows he'll have to handle and cook food, but he seems pretty sure that they can't force him to eat it. His counselor has told him that he can't go in there and start immediately making a stink about how none of the food is anything he would consider eating. At the very least, he will (hopefully) learn to at least politely push the food around on his plate. Maybe.....just maybe....if no one makes a huge deal about it, he might even TRY something new when no one is looking. I can always hope, right?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">These situations are not in the parent's manual. I know....I checked.</span></span>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-47360633289848122492010-01-06T12:52:00.000-08:002010-01-06T13:18:37.178-08:00Jan 6 2010Just got back from an overnight in Manhattan. Arielle and I went in to meet up with our dear friends from Allentown, Janet and Emily.<div><br /></div><div>Now that we no longer live across the street, and the girls are on college, Janet and I both feel we need to build some travel traditions as a foursome. This little jaunt was great and we're ready to start planning the next one.</div><div><br /></div><div>Arielle and I drove in this time. It was only my second experience navigating the streets of NY by car but I'm proud to say, it went very smoothly. We got around without getting lost (and NO GPS) and we only got caught in a gridlock once. There's so much to watch for....the street signs, the pedestrians, the cabs, the bikes, the busses, the double parked trucks. It's a challenge. But I feel like I have a better sense of the lay of the city than ever before. I wouldn't hesitate to drive in again. That's something I never expected to hear myself say.</div><div><br /></div><div>We ate great food and spent some time in a museum and saw Hair on Broadway. At the end of the show, the cast extends an invitation to the audience for all to come onto the stage and dance. That is RIGHT up my ally....but no one else in our group was game. Are you kidding?!?! When again will I have the opportunity to dance on a Broadway stage? Gotta do it!</div><div><br /></div><div>Adrienne went back to Pittsburgh today for her final semester. Aaron's also gone for the next 10 days for business. Arielle doesn't have to head back to Massachusetts until Jan 17. I'm glad she'll be here for awhile longer. If we can find a nice day, I think we're going to go in to the Bronx Zoo. I think it would be terrific to go in the winter when no on else is there. </div><div><br /></div><div>It's taking some time to learn my way around this new computer. So far, I'm liking it. I downloaded the trial version of photoshop for Mac. It's a bit different and I'm trying not to get frustrated. I've been very uninspired photographically over the last few months. The display on this Mac is gorgeous though, so I'm itching to drag out the archives and play around. Maybe, I'm on my way back.</div>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-7515757158542198002010-01-04T03:47:00.000-08:002010-01-04T04:15:20.295-08:00Jan 4 2010<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#00CCCC;">That's my first time to write or type 2010. It often seems that 2009 was this fresh and new no more than a month ago. It goes WAY too fast!</span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#00CCCC;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#00CCCC;">I'm starting the new year, and decade with a cold and a new computer. I'm also starting with a new commitment to blogging. I really, REALLY hope is sticks.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#00CCCC;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#00CCCC;">This past year, I've felt that every time I sat down to try and write, I was whining. There were more than a few entries that were written then deleted on that premise. I can't guarantee an absence of whining, but the sand is starting to shift here and I think I'm going to need the outlet. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#00CCCC;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#00CCCC;">I'm not going to get into a lot of backstory and detail today, but I think this year may hold in it another move. The situation is in it's infancy but the signs are impossible to ignore. Another year of very tough choices, of working to accept what cannot be changed, and trying to find the tranquility to just live with what life throws at us.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#00CCCC;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#00CCCC;">All this is so new...too new to really even begin to talk about. Aaron and I have had a handful of conversations. But I feel like I'm sitting on a time bomb. My head's full of questions and concerns, my heart is unsettled and I know I'll need feedback and support from somewhere. I hope that place is here.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#00CCCC;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#00CCCC;">2010....new year, new decade....another redefinition of life.</span></span></span></div>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-7632522110830472682009-07-21T05:19:00.000-07:002009-07-21T05:37:50.132-07:00Look Out Below...<span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);font-family:trebuchet ms;" >We're back on Long Island and I'm trying to plow through the photos I took on the trip. I seem to have a chronic problem of taking tons of images and getting few to none posted. But this was so overwhelming, I have to share.</span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunflowerkat/3741909247/" title="Untitled by sunflowerkat119, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2554/3741909247_7d7842ee81_o.jpg" alt="" height="843" width="570" /></a><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);font-family:trebuchet ms;" >On our third day in the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Adirondacks</span>, we happened upon this beautiful waterfall. The <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Adirondacks</span> are full of falls, many of them are miles off the road. But this one was easily accessible by a very short path, and seemed to be a spot well known but not overly crowded.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);font-family:trebuchet ms;" >My kids love to go to waterfalls...and so do I. We love to scramble up the rocks and there's something so pleasurable about perching near the edge of a falls just in range of the cool spray. There were a few folks swimming in the pools at the base of the falls, and I'm sure we would have been too if the air temperature had been higher. Seventy degrees is a little chilly to venture into cold mountain water. At least, for some of us.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);font-family:trebuchet ms;" >However, there were a few brave souls....and I DO mean brave!</span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunflowerkat/3742701390/" title="Untitled by sunflowerkat119, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2630/3742701390_3f6aa182d2_o.jpg" alt="" height="753" width="475" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunflowerkat/3742701556/" title="Untitled by sunflowerkat119, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3453/3742701556_4426da6f40_o.jpg" alt="" height="836" width="570" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunflowerkat/3741909393/" title="Untitled by sunflowerkat119, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2466/3741909393_e5224740ac_o.jpg" alt="" height="855" width="570" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunflowerkat/3742701608/" title="Untitled by sunflowerkat119, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3528/3742701608_c7667ca9a5_o.jpg" alt="" height="613" width="570" /></a><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);font-family:trebuchet ms;" >As much as this terrifies me to consider, how I wish I had the nerve to do it. It looks like SO much fun!!!</span>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-69604987517411980762009-07-19T04:14:00.000-07:002009-07-19T04:30:56.713-07:007/19<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">It's our last morning at Lake Placid. It's chilly and the clouds are heavy and full of drama as they roll over the mountains. The shadows and light are constantly changing on the peaks. I could watch forever.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">I love this area....the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Adirondaks</span>. It's another place I would not hesitate to return to. I'd even consider living here if I could. I've learned a couple of things over the last couple of years. I love altitude, and I connect more with lakes than the ocean.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">Is it just me...or are vacations complicated? Overall, the five of us ave had a good time together. But, there have been points of such incredible frustration (on my part). The <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">maintenance</span> level of the members of this family is exhausting. I'm not going to go into a lot of detail, but there were so many times I'd look at one of them and think "just get over it!" "IT" was never worth the negative energy being put forth, and certainly not worth unloading said energy on everyone else. I love these four people but some of them (2 in particular) are really difficult to spend extended time with. They're just too needy, and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">pissy</span> when their needs are not met. And somehow...if I try and address that fact, it all gets turned around and becomes about ME. I just don't get how that happens.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">So, as beautiful as it is here....as happy as I feel in these surroundings, I'm ready to get back to LI where we can go our separate ways and have some space. It makes me sad that THAT is what I'm looking forward to. It's not supposed to be this way, is it? I'm haunted with wondering where I went wrong.</span>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978857.post-26126158990833212832009-07-17T18:23:00.000-07:002009-07-17T18:39:57.352-07:00My Space....well, I can dream...<span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Earlier in the week we spent a few hours kayaking on Lake Placid. I was surprised at the boathouses on the lake. One after another, we paddled past beautiful structures built to provide housing for watercraft, often with a room or two above. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);font-family:trebuchet ms;" >But when I saw this one....all I could imagine was what a great space it would be for an escape. A studio perhaps. I love the windows all around, and the beautiful view in every direction. I know realistically, it's not weatherized and would be miserably cold during an upstate NY winter. But if it could be...I think I'd love a space like this. I'll keep dreaming.<br />:)<br /></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);font-family:trebuchet ms;" >That's Joel paddling by....</span><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunflowerkat/3730356269/" title="my space by sunflowerkat119, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2647/3730356269_afb6f73ca2.jpg" width="750" height="450" alt="my space" /></a>sunflowerkat http://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.com4