12/22/03

More on True Love

Just One Girls Head Noise has set me to pondering true love. She has linked to a poem which suggests the many wonderful qualities of love that's true. It is an amazing sentiment - something we would all wish to have in our lives. But unfortunately, that would set the bar WAY to high.
I know there are a few people out there who really, truely find the love of their life the first time around. How I envy them. Maybe they are old souls who have some special "wisdom" that helps them recognize true love. I think one key to finding true love is really knowing yourself. One needs to know what they need and what they are capable of giving. Then they have to be prepared to at times need less and at times, give much more. This is something I certainly didn't understand when I was married. And now, 22 years later, I find myself almost directionless. Over that time I've been needed so much and given about all I have. I'm learning that if you don't love yourself it's very difficult to truely love someone else.
And we have to accept that ALL PEOPLE CHANGE. Someone sent me a funny little thing that said
"Women marry expecting to change their husbands, and men marry and can't understand why their wives change".
We all change - it would be so sad if we didn't. And unfortunately, we don't always change in compatible ways. But that doesn't mean the love wasn't true.
I accept the notion that true love does exist. But I don't believe that true love always equals lasting love. That's part of what is so painful as a relationship crumbles. We think of them as one and the same. We change, we grow, we have new experiences....to me, true love would be letting go if you must, because the happiness of your loved one is paramount to your own. And if the loved one circles back to you, then you know this love is lasting love, and you know THEIR love is true.Written by sunflowerkat321 .

This entry has 3 comments:
I think you said it in the way I see it too. Youmay experience "true love", but that is noguarentee that it is "forever"...some peoplehave a notion that if it's true, it should last forever.And you don't always end up with your soulmate...tome it's not just the person you fall in love with, it couldbe a cherished friend, a child, a family member, etc.~~Penny~~Comment from raisinglouisiana - 12/26/03 11:18 AM

I have been married to my husband for more than half of my life (I'm 43). I know there are stories out there about how young marriages don't last, but we are the exception. We are not some great LOVE story, but what we are is committed to one another and our children. We know that the grass is not greener on the other side. We settle, we fight, we are not always happy, but I cannot imagine my life without him.Comment from karensull12 - 12/22/03 6:47 PM

It's hard to view "lasting love" through the rose-colored glasses of "true love." Especially in a marriage. The everyday buggers and warts of your partner, that you must live with, seem to take the bloom off the rose...but letting each other BE each other is key. Lisa :-]Comment from mlraminiak - 12/22/03 9:43 AM